keep his unlived selfhat is, his dream womanlive. He will tell the real woman how she should be. He will confabulate reasons for the horrible feeling he has when he can find his dream woman, telling the real woman that she has done something to him. He will pretend that the real woman doesn exist by refusing to speak to her. All of this is controlling behavior. Without a doubt, if we look at a verbally abusive relationship through the dream woman paradigm, we see exactly what is going on in the everyday life of the verbally abusive man and his partner. Here are some of the behaviors that confuse and wound the partner of a verbally abusive man and the reasons for them. e often walks away in the middle of a conversation, like we weren talking and like I suddenly don exist.�Of course he will walk away when you are talking to him. Then he can stay in the dream state with his dream woman and not risk losing the rest of himself. e doesn do what he promises to do.�Of course he will say, eah, yeah, yeah, Il do it,�then not do it. By saying, yes, hel do it, he shuts up the real woman and can stay in the dream state with his dream woman. By not doing it, he can avoid acting as if the real woman is real. e is nice to everyone else, but not to me.�Of course he acts unkindly to you and kindly to others; he hasn anchored a dream person in neighbors or colleagues. nstead of being empathetic, he gets mad when I tell him what bothers me.�Of course he is angriest when you are most real, most heartfelt, trying most to get his understanding; then you really show up and are, therefore, most displacing of his dream woman. And the real woman thoughts are irrelevant since she hould�think what he thinks.Types and Origins of Verbal Abuse
